Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Republicans: The Big Scare


Looking at Frank Guinta, I have this creepy feeling he reminds me of someone, and then the black and white photos from the early 1950's crystallize and I realize it's Tailgunner Joseph McCarthy, the Wisconsin senator who scared all those nice Midwestern ladies in their print dresses and their bow tie wearing husbands right out of their wits, talking about the horrible disaster percolating up from right inside our own country, the creeping menace which would steal our children's prosperity and freedom if we didn't purge the nation of all the bad actors, RIGHT NOW.

McCarthy was the master of the bogey man. He saw Communists and subversives everywhere he looked.

Our very own Congressman Frank Guinta is McCarthy's spiritual grandson, and his fraternal twin, Kelly Ayotte.

They warn of that looming disaster, that approaching tsunami which will crush us all and will sweep away everything we've worked for since this great nation was founded, doncha know.
And what is that horror, sweeping our way? THE DEFICIT.

And all the little spawn of the deficit, taxes, out of control spending, all the work of BIG GOVERNMENT, which spends and spends our money and money we haven't even made yet.
This made Senator Ayotte vote against the recent budget bill, because it hadn't cut enough--it left Medicare on life support, and she wanted to pull the plug RIGHT NOW, and expressed dread at the idea of leaving that decision until another day, because as she pointed out, if you put things off in Washington, they often don't get done.

And Medicare is one of those things Senator Ayotte wants to kill right away. Of course, she says she loves Medicare and only wants to save it. She wants to save it the way those American generals wanted to save Vietnamese villages, which, as they said, you had to destroy to save. She wants Medicare to become Couponcare. That'll save it.

As for Congressman Guinta, he has made a big show of rejecting his own Congressional healthcare package, which is very brave and unselfish of him, setting such a good example for the rest of us and for our parents, who he wants to be just as brave as he is, giving up a great health insurance program for the program of Congressman Guinta's wife.

The really cool thing is how very deeply Mr. Guinta and Ms. Ayotte feel about not spending money we don't have.

Of course, we don't have the money because the twins Frank and Kelly will not allow us to tax their rich friends who write the checks for their campaigns--you got to give it to Republicans, you right them a check and you can count on them to vote your way. Frank and Kelly will not allow President Obama or any of those tax and spend Democrats to tax corporate jet owners or the owners of three and four homes or people who make a billion dollars because that would be WRONG.
It would be wrong because: A/ It's not fair to ask people who earned their money fair and square to give some of it to the undeserving middle class slackers B/ If we get those rich people who own things like companies angry they won't spend their money and the economy will suffer and worse yet, they won't hire anyone to work in their factories, which of course they haven't done for years because all their factories are now in China.

So we are spending money we don't have because Frank and Kelly won't let us have any money, if that means TAXES.

There, I said the word. Can't say it in polite company in New Hampshire. It's "balance," or "revenue enhancement." Heaven forbid we have TAXES in New Hampshire--the state where people pay fewer taxes than any other state than Idaho and Montana, and because of this we are able to attract lots of rich people to live here among us and pay no taxes. And having those rich people right next door helps all of us, somehow, I forget how exactly.

Certainly doesn't help us pay for our schools, so our kids can go anywhere in the country or world after they graduate. Doesn't pay for paving the roads or for healthcare in the state having all these rich people who will pull up stakes the moment we mention TAXES.

We are spending more than we have in New Hampshire for the same reason we are spending more than we have in Washington--because we choose, or rather the Tea Party and the Republican Party and Frank and Kelly choose for us to not have more money, that is, taxes to support all the things BIG GOVERNMENT wants to do--like sending kids to college, sending veterans to college, taking care of wounded veterans, sending the Coast Guard out to rescue our kids off shore, paving roads, fixing bridges, creating little innovative things like the internet, paying for medical care for our parents (so they don't go broke paying medical bills and move in with us), defending us against the next homicidal terrorist, (and finally finding Osama), providing a safety net (Social Security) for us when we get old, keeping airplanes from flying into each other.

Oh, and while we're talking about money we don't have: The Republicans, Frank and Kelly, went on vacation and refused to vote money for the FAA so the federal government loses more in a week in FAA airplane ticket taxes than it would cost to fund the FAA for a year, and in the process puts constructions worker all around the country out of work, because, don't you know, the FAA is GOVERNMENT, BIG GOVERNMENT.

So what Frank and Kelly got us was no BIG GOVERNMENT. In its place they gave us BAD GOVERNMENT.

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