Sunday, January 27, 2013

Guns for Christmas: Peace and Joy in America

Peace on Earth. Good Will to Men
Oh, Tidings of Comfort and Joy
Under your tree a real gun
The Family That Shoots Together

She knows what guns are for
Mixed Messages?

 “Talk to your parents about how much you like shooting. Who knows?  Maybe you’ll find a Bushmaster AR-15 under your tree some frosty Christmas morning!”
--Advertisement in Junior Shooters magazine

You cannot make this stuff up.    Mad Dog could not find the actual image of the ad in Junior Shooters, to his great regret.  He is sure it looks all Norman Rockwell and the kid in it, whoever it is, has freckles.  And a cow lick. And a smile which could throw a light bright enough to illuminate the road from Hampton Beach to Osh Kosh.

The Road Kill T shirt thing has Mad Dog a little confused. Why this would be in a gun magazine is not clear. And the girl looks happy, positively ecstatic even, to be wearing her Road Kill T shirt. Does she want some man with a gun to make her road kill? There is some psycho dynamic operating here, and Mad Dog knows he is missing it. Someone help Mad Dog here.

Mad Dog loved Kayla Williams's book, and its title. Ms. Williams was in the Army, forward deployed, carried a gun all the time, and knew how to use it and knew what it could do, and would not want to find one under her Christmas tree, Mad Dog would bet.  When you first put on your white uniform or your scrubs in medical school, it's something of a rush. That lasts until you get vomited on, defecated on, urinated on, and soaked with spraying blood. Then you cannot get out of that stuff fast enough. It acquires a different meaning, when reality sets in.

Mad Dog suspects carrying a gun in Iraq was something like that.

An AR-15 under the tree, celebrating the birthday of the Prince of Peace.

Only in America.


  1. Mad Dog,
    I also read that heartwarming piece and it just brought back so many fond memories since nothing spells Christmas in our house more than G-U-N-S! I'll never forget when my son first looked up at me and said "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth-oh- and an AK-15 with extra magazine clips". And what my boy wants my boy gets! The new Christmas gun has become a bit of a family tradition here-I like to pose the kids in front of the tree holding the latest addition to their arsenal-what a shot. Then while they rifle throught the rest of the presents and their Christmas stockings filled with chocolate santas, candy canes and bullets I light the Yankee candles in my favorite holiday scent "Gunpowder and Balsam".

    After dinner we all head out to the woods behind the house to-well-shoot anything that moves. When we return with our kill we have our own little family version of "Guns and Grillin". Yummy. As Mr. Fink, the editor of Junior Shooters, points out-guns are simply tools,like baseball bats, and we want our kids handy with tools. I know some say that we are just chumps and pawns of a multi-million dollar industry , but I don't agree with the critics, they're missing the point-an armed child is a happy child...

  2. Maud,

    Confession time. When my 2nd son was 4, he was still sucking his thumb and my wife had tried everything in Doctor Spock and still no success breaking him of the habit. Finally, she promised him an air rifle, which makes a big pop sound (but fires no projectile) and which he coveted mightily. He stopped within days and forever. We kept this secret from our day care people, who refused to allow guns as toys at the Day Care Center, where all the boys chased each other around using broomsticks as guns shouting, "Pow! Bang!" (In general, the girls played with blocks and cups and less martial things.) My wife just shrugged and said, "The Y chromosome is destiny."

    But, aside from that dark part of our family's past, I have to agree with your sentiments.

    Mad Dog

  3. Mad Dog Suck my sweaty balls you comy Pig!