Sunday, May 13, 2018

You Know You're In Trouble When the Russians Are Following Your Blog

Actually, Mad Dog is  not sure what to think when he checks his "audience" display and sees a lot of Russians tuned in this week.

To say nothing of the Italians, but they are the folks who elected the Italian Trump, Berlusconi, so it's hard to know what to think about them.

The Russians, on the other hand, we know are just riding the internet seas flying the skull and crossbones.

Mad Dog is comforted in that his blog audience is so small, it could fit into a single Moscow subway car.

Despite his negligible Russian ancestry, or possibly because of it, Mad Dog is pretty sure Russia is not much interested in him or his blog--they just cast a net from that pirate ship and see what they pick up.

What Mad dog particularly likes about this display is it makes it appear that he has a robust audience in Alaska, which is of course untrue. The guys out there on those king crab boats are not entertaining themselves by reading Mad Dog--they are part of America so they get the same dark green treatment because people in New Hampshire and Washington, DC tune in and it's a gerrymandered map.

Presumably, the same applies to Russia--nobody in Siberia is actually reading some hobbit from a New Hampshire shire, although it might do everyone some good if they did. Mad Dog would love to read about life and thought in Siberia, if he could find a good blog from somebody in Siberia.

No, it's probably Moscow which turns that map dark green for Mad Dog, some schlub in some dreary Moscow office who has been assigned some insignificant portion of the American internet, is tuning in and logging on to Mad Dog, while he drinks vodka to drown his boredom and sorrow. 
North Hampton, NH

He would rather be in Berlin, clubbing with attractive young ladies and drinking whatever they drink in Berlin. So, my sympathies, Mr. Schlub. You have a really uninspiring entry level internet troll job, and you'll know you're taking the next step up the ladder when they give you a better assignment with some bloggers who have thousands, rather than hundreds of followers and which have pop up ads.
Exeter, NH

If you are like most Europeans, you get 12 weeks vacation, and I'd suggest you use part of that for a holiday on the seacoast of New Hampshire, maybe even the lakes region. Eat lobster rolls (New Hampshire chicken) and expose yourself to sunshine (good for your vitamin D levels, likely pretty low after a winter in Moscow), do some surfing, meet some interesting women, talk to some Live Free or Die men, go to a minor league baseball game in Manchester. 
Plaice Cove, Hampton


Just don't get ill when you're here, because, our healthcare system is nothing you want to get involved with. They will track you down no matter where you go, Siberia even, for that $1200 Emergency Room bill. 
Eye catching: But really boring. Airheads. 

And don't miss Fox News every morning. A week of that and you'll be just dying to get back to Russia.


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