Sunday, January 23, 2011

PENIS ENVY



So I have been thinking more about why Republicans are so vociferous about saying people should carry guns, own guns, be gun toters.

It could be they are simply trying to distinguish themselves from wimpy Democrats who keep telling everyone violence and dominance and chest puffing are bad and we should all sing Kumbaya.

But I think it's something else.

I got an intuition when President Obama came to speak at a Portsmouth high school and at least one Live Free or Die stater arrived with a very impressive looking, lethal black gun strapped to his hip. He looked very powerful and dangerous. He was an out of work assembly line worker. Or something. But you could see from his self satisfied smile he felt good about himself, wearing that gun. He was gun proud. He was an important man. The media were all over him. He was important.

He was, in fact, as powerful as the leader of the free world, because he was clearly capable of killing President Obama, which made him as powerful as the President.

Any man with a gun is as powerful as the most powerful world leader.

So, that's it. We Republicans sell you self respect. Just buy a gun. We won't help you get a job, make more money, pay for your medical bills, take care of your parents.

But we'll get you your gun.

Getting hard yet?

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