Sunday, February 15, 2015

Who Should We Bomb Next? Oh, So Many Choices.

Ryan Zinke 
Ordinarily, I don't watch the Sunday morning talk shows, but this morning, procrastinating about roof raking the snow, I hopped on the treadmill and CNN treated me to an interview with Republican Congressman Ryan Zinke and someone else who was not Lindsey Graham, but could have been for all the difference they have in opinion, a man who captured my attention because he had tied his regimental striped tie so perfectly, with the dimple just so, and he was nodding in agreement with Congressman Zinke and adding we need to have "boots on the ground" in all those places which could serve as a safe haven for terrorists. 
Look at that tie! He must know what he's talking about

So we are talking about Yemen, Syria, Iraq, Iran and don't forget Egypt, these two stalwarts reminded us, they are close to the edge--ISIS could show up there any day.

Now, if we are going to go to war against terrorism, we got to go in to win, you see. What President Obama said in his recent speech about asking for war powers was all about what he would not do, but Mr. Zinke, a former Navy Seal, is here to tell you what we need to do is go in to win. That's what we did in the big one (WWII) and that's what we got to do now. You see, we went in to win and we won it. I am sure I heard Archie Bunker say that once. 

And ringing in my ears was that lovely exchange between Kima and Carter on (you guessed it) The Wire.
Kima: I love you guys, winning the war on drugs, one brutality case at a time.
Carter: Girl, you can't even call this a war.
Kima: Why not?
Carter: Wars end.

But not for Mr. Zinke and the guy with the pretty tie. No, this is endless war against...What or whom, exactly? Whack a mole? You whack Sadam and up pops ISIS.  And, it's not bad enough we got some meat head shooting Muslims in Chapel Head, now we got some Islamic extremist shooting people in COPENHAGEN!

I didn't even know Copenhagen had Muslims, not to mention extremists, or synagogues or Jews.  I was just reading last night in the New Yorker about a book by Michael Booth, The Almost Nearly Perfect People, about the Scandinavians. I was led to believe they do not have problems in Scandinavia, so Copenhagen comes as a great disappointment. Oh, I know about the Girl with the DragonTatoo, but that was Stockholm and that was fiction. Scandinavians are supposed to be melancholy, because of the weather and the dim light, but not because they've got problems with endless war and terror. 

Last time I was in Norway, I thought: these people are not Italians, but they know how to live. They just live in a place where it's still light at midnight during the summer,  and during the winter there is no sunlight at all. So they know how to live, they just haven't figured out where to live. My one night in Reykjavik, Iceland left me with the same feeling. The Icelanders live on a volcano, with no more sun than the Danes, but they have way better sweaters. It would almost be worth living in Reykjavik, just to have an excuse to wear those sweaters all the time.

But I digress.

Nobody is talking about dropping bombs on Reykjavik--although maybe ISIS is because we have a big US Navy base there, for some reason. I mean, I can see the reason the US would want a base there, but why do the Icelanders want to allow us to have a base there?  Seems to me it would just invite some maniac to shoot up a coffee shop because, well, we are the infidels and the Icelanders welcome us. And all those Scandinavians were big into the crusades--Just watch "The Seventh Seal" if you doubt me. I love that movie.  No Islamic extremists, just Death himself, sitting on the beach with a chess board and a black hoodie. 

Where was I? Oh, yes. The endless war. Congressman/former Navy Seal Zinke wants us to have bombers fly in all these places, guided by special forces soldiers on the ground who would need to be evacuated by helicopters if they get wounded or are in danger of being captured, because you know what ISIS does to soldiers or pilots they capture--they burn them at the stake. Well, not at the stake, but in a cage. Because, ISIS fighters are bestial. 

Did I ever mention in France, I stood on the spot where they burned Joan of Arc? I was never quite clear what she had done wrong--somebody heard God's voice telling them what to do--but I am reasonably sure she had no helicopter to evacuate her. 


  1. Mad Dog,
    I'm rather surprised you didn't get some message emanating from the hallowed ground where poor Joan breathed her last...why is it the far right get all the cool celestial messages...anyway, you are quite right Scandinavia does seem a bit on the dour side, but at least always peaceful..would they even want our boots on the ground-traipsing around hunting for ISIS and creating more of a target on their homeland..Well at least we and they can take comfort in knowing Congressman Zinke wants us to there's a novel thought...with forethought like that how can we lose..
    PS--given the recent weather I think you need to get yourself one of those nice Icelandic sweaters to wear around town..won't you be dapper and the envy of all...

  2. Maud,
    Did I not mention the voice? I think it was asking for a contribution to set up a tourist center to sell replica stakes, like the ones you can buy at the Eiffel Tower.
    As attractive as the Icelanders and their sweaters are, I'm sticking with my Irish knit sweater I got in Ennis. I must have been imprinted on some Irish nurse when my mother popped me out--first face I saw was probably some Maureen Dougherty, RN, and I never got past it.

    Mad Dog

  3. Mad Dog,
    Sure hope you answered affirmative to the voice and made a generous contribution to the future tourist center-replica stakes-imagine the demand-one can picture them as a charming addition to mantles and book cases throughout the for your Irish knit-wise choice, they are the best, I'd have to agree...
    PS-rather than a case of imprinting, could it be you were a leprechaun in a previous life...I mean it's possible...

  4. Maud,

    I don't know about previous lives. I rather like this century with opportunities for international trade as they are--sweaters, trinket souvenirs of burning at the stake; even Normandy had souvenir cups at the graveyard for D Day.
    All I can say is Godspeed, Maud. May you follow in the footsteps of Marco Polo, seeking to establish a replica empire.

    Mad Dog