Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Oh Captain, My Captain! Jon Stewart is Gone! Fox News Declares Victory!

Jon Stewart is 52 years old. He has been the Daily Show for 16 years. He's packing it in, quitting, leaving, out of here, gone.

What will we do now?

Well, if you are Fox News: Celebrate! 

Mad Dog has solicited reactions from his favorite news analysts they were gracious enough to supply the following reactions:

Rush Limbaugh: This is a great day for all right thinking Americans. The Wicked Witch is Dead! All Hail the Deliverance from the seductive, slick sensation at Comedy Central who masqueraded as a latter day pundit!

Bill O'Reilly:  I never thought I would live to see this day! We have been delivered from evil.  The Antichrist has gone down.  I may invite him to do spots on my program, if he has not gone entirely Hollywood. 

The Bimbo Group:  We are so glad to report the passing of a dark scourge from the evening news landscape. A force of disrespect, loathing and obfuscation has finally been driven from the alter of truth which is television news.  

So, the axis of evil: Stewart, Colbert and Oliver have finally been defeated and we can all feel safer in our homes and beds and cars and yachts. 

The Left is in disarray, silenced. 

Al Franken has been said to be considering resigning from the Senate to try for Stewart's seat, but, truth be told Al Franken is no Jon Stewart. He isn't even Barney Frank. 

Now, there's a thought: Barney Frank. He must be getting bored by now.


  1. Phantom,
    I am struggling to type as my body is wracked with sobs...well OK I'm crying on the inside, but still, this is BAD...February 10, 2015-the day Jon Stewart put in his resignation-a day that will live in infamy...First Colbert and now this-two brilliant, irreplaceable lights, gone .. it's a dark day for all intelligent life on the planet...Rush, Rove, O'Reilly, Fox News-the forces of evil are victorious...say it isn't so Phantom, say it isn't so....

  2. Maud,

    Your sense of moment is, as always, staggering. From FDR and Pearl Harbor to the 1919 Black Sox, (say it ain't so) you have placed this catastrophe in its proper context. We can always count on you when straits get dire. (Not referring to the band.)

    Mad Dog's faithful servant, Phantom

  3. Mad Dog,
    Oh the humanity!! Losing Stewart, The Colbert Report and confusing Mad Dog and Phantom-whatever is the world coming to...have you seen some of the suggestions for Stewart's replacement-Chris Rock, Sarah Silverman, Amy Schumer, Seth MacFarlane...I would choose John Oliver first, but apparently he may not be able to escape HBO. Out of the rest, I like Seth Macfarlane- I can picture him being decent at it. I've read several pieces now calling for a female or minority replacement to help diversify the all "white male" late night TV scene...Please, spare us...just put the person on who can come closest to hitting the high bar Stewart set-and if that' s a white guy so be it...

  4. Maud,

    You are just a treasure trove of famous calamity gems: Now it's the Hindenberg disaster.
    Oh, the horror.

    Mad Dog