Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Wah Wah Donald: Oh, Life is SO Unfair

sO, here's the riff I'd love to see Hillary do, at tomorrow's debate: Just say, "Well, if I understand Donald's complaint, it goes something like this:
"Oh, this is just so UNFAIR!  I'm not losing, it's just a conspiracy of the media says I am. And they are so dishonest, believe me.

There are Mexican rapists poring across the borders and Muslims all over the world who hate us, who are beheading people and they are getting together with the New York Times and CNN and they are going to rig the election and dead people will be voting for Crooked Hillary.

It's gonna be zombie nation, I'm telling you. All those dead people showing up voting for Crooked Hillary.

Don't those zombies know about the emails? I mean, what are they thinking? It's just so incredible.
There's no way I could lose to her.

And all those polls, just so crooked. All a conspiracy, let me tell you.

I mean, I shouldn't be surprised, with the liberal media all poisoning the minds of the voters with their lies, and they've been lying so much. Just so much. It's just unbelievable, the lies.
But we're winning anyway, people have told me. I've heard I'm winning.
People really love me.

I was just in New Hampshire. Great people in New Hampshire. We had just so many people. Like 500,000 people in Portsmouth. They couldn't all get in the place. There was a big crowd outside, all trying to get in to see me, because I'm the biggest star to ever go to New Hampshire. Really, I mean, New Hampshire? I'll let you decide.

Some really good looking poontang up there in Portsmouth, actually, I don't mind telling you. Well, I would mind if there's a hot mike on around here. But,  really.  Some blondes in tight jeans and flannel shirts, make that plaid look good. And they were just trying to get at me. Crowds outside. Must have been a million.

I was lucky to get out in one piece, but I'm married now, mostly. You know, Melania, who is just so hot, you wouldn't believe.

Where was I?

Oh, yes, they are stealing the election from me. Totally rigged.
Nobody is voting against me, only the media, who contributed $1,464, 298.15 to Crooked Hillary and only $500 to me.
Not that I need the money, you understand, because I'm so smart I don't pay taxes, which, if I did, they would only squander.

She's bought them off, Hillary has.

Hey, you want a ride on my airplane? You can sit right next to me."

Wouldn't it be fun to see Hillary do that before a national audience? I bet she could pull it off.

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