Saturday, April 8, 2017

You Say You Want a Revolution?

Bernie Sanders usually started off his stump speech by asking the crowd, "Are you ready for a revolution?"
And the place would go wild.

But the revolution Bernie was talking about was a class struggle, taxing the rich more, and providing more opportunities for the struggling middle class, health insurance, free college education, a stairway to better jobs.

But here is the revolution Mad Dog would offer if he were running. 
When the Republicans realize they control enough state houses and governorships to convene a constitutional convention, when they are drunk with dreams of writing into the Constitution articles forbidding abortion, flag burning, speaking any language but English in public places,  taking the Trump name in vain, making War on Christmas, immigration of non whites, taking the Lord's name in vain, disparaging NASCAR, and another article re-instituting slavery, well the Democrats should just play along, smiling, nodding their way through all this and, once the Republicans have gone out and got good and drunk the Dems could slip in an article which allows states to leave the union and form independent nation states, confederations of their own choosing. 

This should appeal to the Southern states, given their history of having fought a four year war over this in the past. The Dems could frame it: Look, the Lost Cause can still be won in the 21st century.  We agree, divorce should be an option. After all, they're doing it in Europe.

It was, in fact, the example of Europe which moved President Lincoln to cleave to the idea there should be one continental American nation.  Europe had been riven by war and bloodshed for centuries and Lincoln maintained, we needed to avoid all that with an indissoluble union. Of course, later he admitted, that was something of a marketing pitch and the whole war was really over slavery, as he said in his second Inaugural address. 

But, here's the thing: If the six New England states left and invited at least some of the middle Atlantic states, say New York, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, and the West Coast states and Illinois, and maybe Minnesota.  We could do pretty well, economically at least, as the New American Union.  

The whole idea of contiguous borders is so 20th century. With people tele-commuting, and with air travel and the internet, you really don't need to be able to reach out and physically touch your countrymen. 

And the Southern states and the Mountain states and the Southwestern states (except for New Mexico), all those "fly over states"  are always grousing about how oppressive Washington, DC is, how that federal government is an occupying power, a distant black helicopter state. They don't like government much, at least federal government. So, let them go.

They could print their own money and put Jefferson Davis and Stonewall Jackson and Robert E. Lee and George Armstrong Custer on it. They could reinstate Andrew Jackson and add the grand dragon of the Ku Klu Klan, if they want to. 
They could be happy without us. 
Well, spiritually. 
Economically, not so much. But hey, it's just money.

Economically, the states which complain most about the oppressive federal tax burden are actually the ones who get the most from it, so let them go and fend for themselves. We won't miss them.

Defense spending as a portion of a state's GDP is highest in states like Mississippi and Kentucky.  We could move all those military bases and factories to New England and California and Illinois. I count the New American Union as having: Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, Maryland, Delaware, Illinois, Minnesota, Washington, Oregon, California and New Mexico.  Sweet 16. Others could apply. Maybe some states, like Pennsylvania, Ohio, Michigan and Wisconsin could redraw their boundaries to separate red counties from blue counties and the redrawn states could apply to the union. 
Of course, there would be some states we would feel sorry for:  The research triangle in North Carolina, parts of Florida, northern Virginia, Atlanta, Austin Texas, New Orleans. There would be those islands of sanity in a sea of red we just likely could not help. 

Our New American Union would have a Congress free of Mitch McConnell and Trey Gowdy and Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio and Louie Gohmert.  
Think of that.  
We would not be totally  rid of all the unappetizing trolls--even in Massachusetts there were Trump voters, but we would really change the mix. 
And New Hampshire, which came within a couple of thousand votes of going for Trump, might teeter off into lunacy every so often. But, it might be people in all states would "self deport," and find themselves gravitating not just to walled communities of similar belief, but to states where they feel more at home.

In divorces, a common remark by one or both of the parting spouses is, "I never realized how much you really disliked me."  When people have to stay together, they bite their lips and just suck it up. But when they no longer have to get along, they can say what they really feel.

And I suspect, when we let Texas, South Carolina, Arizona, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Kansas and Indiana go, folks in the  remaining New Union states will heave a great cleansing sigh of relief and say: "Why did we suffer so long? Why didn't we do this years ago?"
Obadiah Youngblood, Tugboat

No comments:

Post a Comment