Being Fair to Republicans: Or How Dancer's Image Taught the GOP to Whine Effectively

Have you noticed how the "liberal media, "e.g. Judy Woodruff on the "News Hour," and others who Fox News consider hopelessly biased against conservative causes, have questioned Republican Congressmen and Democratic leaders during this current Government Shutdown and  approaching default storm? 

Judy Woodruff has been falling all over herself  trying to appear fair minded.  She actually asked a White House spokesman the other night why the Democrats cannot be more accommodating to the Republican demands--why not concede a little something, like the medical device tax--just to throw a bone and gets things moving?

Of course, the Democrats sputter and do not have the smarts to say something like:  "Hey, Judy, I love dogs and little children, but if a man passes a note to a teller saying he's going to blow up the bank unless she stuffs his suitcase full of cash, so he can give money to dogs and little children, I'm not going to negotiate with him." 

Or words to that effect.

Jon Stewart, at least,  has been clear headed enough to say there is no way we can be balanced and even handed in this case,  when one party is so clearly out of its frigging mind.  

It's the problem of the Big Lie. Where do you begin, when the whole premise of the Republican party is so wildly absurd?  

He was reduced to dealing in analogies.  Okay, the Giants lost Sunday. They did not then turn around and demand the NFL suspend the rest of the season unless the Giants can be given a little something, say 21 more points so they win the game they have already lost. After all, it's a fairness to the American people thing.

You see, what the Republicans are doing: They lost the vote on Obamacare; they lost the Supreme Court case on Obamacare. They played their hand. And now they want to have a post loss victory handed to them.

Actually, this is not unprecedented in American history:  In 1968 a New Hampshire horse, Dancer's Image, won the Kentucky Derby, fair and square. But the owner of that horse was a friend and admirer of Martin Luther King, and when he gave the purse to Martin Luther King's widow, to continue the great man's work, the folks at the Kentucky (you remember, Kentucky?  Where Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul are from) Derby went back and "found" a urine sample from the winning horse and found an illegal anti inflammatory drug there and stripped the horse of the title. 

Loser's justice. 

So now, the Republicans are saying the words: "Constitution," and "fairness," "American people," and  "free market." They are throwing them all together in every sentence to show how reasonable they are being, shutting down the government, wrecking the economy, because, well, any reasonable, patriotic person would do the same. It's those rigid Democrats, who cannot accept what the game provides, who are the bad guys here.

It reminds Mad Dog of when he was a medical student on the psych wards, and someone would come in saying the Communists were controlling his brain with radio waves and if we could just help him, he would cleanse the world of Satan and all his works if we would just blow up the Brooklyn Bridge and decapitate all the fish at the Futon Fish Market. And we would say, "Just come into the room and sit down, so we can talk about it." 

Now, Judy Woodruff would ask President Obama why he didn't at least offer to decapitate some of the fish at the Fulton Fish market, just to be reasonable and to meet at least some of the demands.

Luckily, for the Republicans, the "liberal media" they so revile, cannot find the balls to nail the Republicans to the wall for what they are saying and doing.  And the spokesmen for the Democrats, with the possible exception of President Obama himself, are too toothless, inarticulate and unimaginative to respond effectively.