It's a very hard choice: Who should we root for in the race to become Speaker of the House?
My long running favorite has been Louie Gohmert, who famously said about the adolescents streaming across the Texas border as refugees from the murderous gangs in Honduras, "They've committed at least 7,695 sexual assaults. You want to talk about a war on women? This administration will not defend the women of America from criminal aliens! By the thousands! By the hundreds of thousands!"
When that border with Texas was roiling, Mr. Gohmert was there to sound the alarm: "We all know Al Qaeda has massed on the Mexican border. We have people that are trained to act Hispanic when they are radical Islamists."
I know every American woman, at least every white American woman, felt safer just knowing Mr. Gohmert had their backs (perhaps a poor choice of phrase).
But, how can one not root for a man named Ted Yoho? (It is so tantalizingly close to Yahoo, it's just not even worth mentioning, really.)
And the man does not disappoint.
Decrying the Food Stamp program as an unwarranted waste of taxpayer money, Mr. Yoho said, "I think there are 330 million people starving, at least three times a day: we call it breakfast, lunch and dinner."
Which is to say, everyone is hungry in America, why should taxpayers coddle those hungry people who are hungry because they cannot afford food?
From the look of Mr. Yoho's belly, it is clear this is a man who knows a thing or two about hunger.
It's a tough choice.
But, for Mad Dog, the tipping point has to be Mr. Gohmert is from Texas, which ought to count for something. And how can you not vote for a man who knows where the real strength of this great nation resides?
"We've got some people who think Shariah law oughta be the law of the land; forget the Constitution."
And we know to whom Mr. Gohmert is referring (Remember Mr. Obama's middle name is Hussein.)
"But the guns are there, the Second Amendment is there, to make sure all the rest of the amendments are followed."
And don't forget Justice Scalia. He is there with that Second Amendment, just in case there's a jam in the firing chamber of that M-16.
Mad Dog,
ReplyDeleteOh brother-looks like we're stuck with another term of Johnny as Speaker. Too bad, when Gohmert and Yoho offered so much greater entertainment potential. All of the fun has already been rung from Boehner's crocodile tears and spray tan, but Gohmert and Yoho-you can tell they were just getting warmed up... While those who voted the GOP into the majority marinate in the meaning of the adage "be careful what you wish for" the GOP is going to have to start working overtime to think of new ways to continue to pin the blame for all that's wrong with the world on Obama and the Democrats. That's a task that will require remarkable creativity and inventiveness and since Gohmert and Yoho have demonstrated a superior ability to not only think outside the box, but outside reality- they would be excellent choices to co-chair the congressional "Why It's Still Obama's Fault" committee... Boehner should get on this immediately and not deny the country even a day of the GOP Welcome To Crazyville sideshow...
Maud
Maud,
ReplyDeleteI do think you ought to organize a Winnacunet High School field trip to Washington,DC for ringside seats at those committee hearings. Mr. Guinta is undoubtedly a member of the committee on the House side and Ms. Ayotte on the Senate side.
Mad Dog