Polygamy

What does it matter to me whether my neighbor has one wife or five?

What does it matter to me whether my neighbor is married to someone of the same sex?

What does it matter to me whether my neighbors are married or simply living together?

Why does being married need to carry with it any legal status at all? Which is to say, why does the officiant at a marriage ceremony say, "And now by the powers invested in me by the state of New Hampshire, I pronounce you man and wife?

Why do we need marriage at all? 

At a wedding some years ago, in a large AME church, I listened as the pastor outlined a variety of circumstances in which the congregation, the community of faith should act as a policeman of vows: he exhorted his flock to step in when they were at a party and the groom remained behind to frolic as his wife departed to get home to the kids, "And you see his roving eye, step over there and tell him to go home to his wife!" 

So that was one function of the wedding ceremony: to enlist the community, the power of the group to enforce individual fealty and "good behavior."

In a recent NYT article on polygamy it was mentioned there are something like 181 legal rights, obligations and benefits of being legally married, including things having to do with what happens when a spouse gets sick, visitation at the hospital rights, rights having to do with inheritance of property, rights concerning access to children. Apparently, marriage is convenient for government: It confers official status and rights to spouses which otherwise would have to be defined.

Given the commercial basis of health insurance in the United States it also simplified who can be covered under a company's health insurance policy. If General Motors had to cover 5 wives or 5 girlfriends of a single employee, that might be a disadvantage to the bottom line. 

Polygamy has been attacked on the grounds that in some cults, young girls are forced, against their wills to marry older men, but that has to do not with polygamy but with the offenses of cults in controlling the lives of adherents.

The main argument against polygamy might be the burden it would put on the government to cover social security, welfare and Medicare for multiple wives, but the government covers the twelve children of Hassidic couples where the wife works but the husband spends all day in the temple studying the Torah and depends upon the state to support his family. Surely, if the government can tolerate that individual choice, it can tolerate the choice to have so many children among people who cannot afford them, unless it decides not to.

From a woman's point of view, I can see the advantages: A woman might like the idea she can be left alone at certain times and another woman can be called upon to serve her husband's needs. In many marriages, women provide more support in the day to day to the male than the male does to the woman, and this work can be shared. How often have I heard a woman refer to going to bed at night an having to face, "The last chore of the day?"

Reading the stories of families in the NYT piece it was striking that these families had certain characteristics:

1/ It was always a man and multiple wives, never a wife with multiple husbands.

2/ None of these families seemed to be composed of people with high income professions: You did not see a neurosurgeon with five wives; you did not see a movie star with four husbands; you did not see a CEO which two wives and two husbands. it was usually a construction company owner or manager who had two or three wives who also sometimes had jobs of their own.

Of course, one might ask why anyone would want one husband or one wife, let alone three, but that's just me asking.