American Psycho Noir

So, here's the story.

As any devotee of Nordic Noir TV will know, this one has all the elements.

It can be produced by Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. and directed by Alex Jones, with the screenplay by Joe Rogan.

Vlad never could resist a man in uniform

Every Netflix Noir streaming detective series has to open with a pop, either a naked dead body, or naked bodies having sex.

So this one opens with the establishing shots of The Donald as the ultimate libidinous swordsman, barely under control, bragging nobody can stop him because he's a celebrity.

This set up, of course, is the creation of the image of the hypermasculine, priapic Trump, who channels Adolph's master plan, as laid out in "Mein Kampf," but he cleaves to Benito's stage persona, and the Stormy Daniels thing and the Jean Carroll episode all part of the show. 

Of course, the audience is wondering what all this womanizing is about, and how it relates to all the bloodied, dead bodies which are sure to follow.

 Of course, the womanizing thing has worked for The Donald  for years: Marla Maples got it going in 1990 when she said sex with Donald was her best ever: It worked so well, it became his basic play, like a counter trey in football. You just keep running it until it doesn't work.

But lately Melania has simply not seemed to want to play the pulling guard, so The Donald needed a new HYPER  MAN gambit.  So he goaded Vlad into going after Ukraine, because, you know, it's a win/win: they both need it, The Donald needs to create a distraction and Vladimir Putin needed a BIG MAN demonstration.

But the formula demands that along the way, the detective/investigator needs to have a daughter, and Volodymyr Zelensky has one, and the daughter has got to feel her father is so wrapped up in his work he neglects her and so she wanders close to a third floor window, which is never a good idea when Vladimir Putin's men are skulking about.  

Zelensky manages to break free of his investigation, just as he is closing in on the real culprit, but just in time to rescue his daughter. 

The reveal is that it's The Donald all along, who is trying to cover up his affair with Vladimir the Impaler, who is, in turn, trying to push Volodymyr Zelensky out of the window, because Volodymyr just happened to stumble into The Donald and Vlad in flagrante delicto while Zelensky was on a state visit to persuade Vlad to get out of Crimea.

In the end, The Donald sweeps back into office and Vladimir pulls his troops out of Ukraine and settles for over running Belarus and Trump declares himself President for Life and Vlad the Impaler agrees to allow Ukraine to grow wheat in peace, as long as he can  sail his yacht around the Black Sea. 

Zelensky, his wife and kids are seen piling into a Range Rover, off for a well earned holiday in Odessa.