As some of you may know, Mad Dog has a day job and that is working for Steward Medical Group, which has lately become something of a high profile enterprise: For weeks Steward was above the fold, front page news for the Boston Globe.
So, it was only a matter of time until Mad Dog would be accosted by a member of the working press, or someone who plays a news person on TV, to wit, a FOX NEWS sprite, who passed her audition on a white leather couch (one can only imagine) and demanded MAD DOG say something to the public as he tried to enter the clinic door.
FOXY: Excuse me, do you work here?
MAD DOG: Until further notice.
FOXY: Excuse me?
MAD DOG: Already been there.
FOXY: Pardon.
MAD DOG: I excused you already.
FOXY: What can you tell me about working here when the Democrat governor of Massachusetts has called you a criminal enterprise and threatened shut down all Steward facilities?
MAD DOG: A criminal enterprise? Well, now, that is news. To me at least.
FOXY: So how does that affect you as you try to take care of patients?
MAD DOG: Thing is, I really do have patients to take care of right now and I don't want to keep them in the waiting room any longer than necessary. Time is money, you know, and those yachts don't pay for themselves.
FOXY: Are you worried the governor will nationalize Steward, make it into a state run socialized medicine agency?
MAD DOG: She can do that?
FOXY: People are saying...
MAD DOG: Oh, then it must be true. I heard she was going to send in the National Guard to run the clinics, which would be a great help during COVID and flu season, but not so much now. They'd probably get bored and definitely would put a strain on our coffee budget, which is under considerable stress as it is.
FOXY: What was that you said about yachts?
MAD DOG: Oh, they do not pay for themselves. Mobile homes neither, as Justice Thomas can tell you. You would not believe the cost a mobile home, or maybe you call it an RV, one of those Prevost Le Mirage XL Marathons. The upkeep!
FOXY: Pardon?
MAD DOG: Well, some people are saying it's a mobile home, but I think of it as a land yacht. Either way, very expensive.
FOXY: I'm not sure I follow.
MAD DOG: Well, it's like Paul Gosar says, "Aren't we supposed to be standing for something instead of falling for everything?"
FOXY (Speaking to her producer through her ear piece) I think we better move on.
MAD DOG: I've really got to get to clinic. You know there's a tuberculosis pandemic.
FOXY: Tuberculosis?
MAD DOG: Paul Gosar was the first to notice. Those illegal aliens brought it in. We could treat it with Ivermectin or chloroquine, but the FDA refuses to allow these life saving medications because big pharmacoindustriomedical complex won't let us!
FOXY: Are there any other doctors working in this clinic I can talk to?
MAD DOG: You'd have to register as a patient.
FOXY: You are signing up new patients?
MAD DOG: We were when I was last here, but that was before the Memorial Day weekend, which was an utter debacle.
FOXY: You had a problem with Memorial Day?
MAD DOG: Not here. At home. The clinic was closed over Memorial Day weekend, but my wife and I nearly came to blows over the flag.
FOXY: The flag?
MAD DOG: She insisted she knew how to fly the flag and that I don't. Now how do you string that sucker up? Blue part at the bottom or at the top?
FOXY: And that's a wrap, from Steward Medical clinic in the Merrimack Valley!
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