Memo to The President #24

Why do we watch spectator sports? Why do we agonize over the Red Sox, or thrill to Rocky punching Apollo Creed?  Because we identify, and we live vicariously through those on stage.  As kids in the back yard we announced our own heroics: "It's the bottom of 9th, two outs, and Mad Dog is coming to bat."

And when we tune in, we hope not to be disappointed.
So here is Mad Dog's back yard announcer, looking forward to Tuesday:

On Waffling:
Mitt Romney, and his entire Republican party of lemmings, have been telling us for years the only thing which stood between economy boom times and the American people is government regulation. "Government is the problem, not the solution." Then last week, Mr. Romney comes out and looks the camera in the eye and tells us he's all for government regulation. We need government regulation for free markets to function, he says. Suddenly Mr. Romney, a Republican, is the great champion of government regulation. And what regulation? Well, whatever is not the regulation of the Obama administration.  Specifically what regulations have been so damaging, he cannot, he will not say. Just anything we've got now. His proposals are secret. Like Nixon's secret plan to win the war in Vietnam, and after he was elected that Republican President, who as a candidate said, "Just trust me," invaded Cambodia and the war dragged on for years. If you want to trust in that Republican pixie dust, I got the man for you right here on this stage. You deserve him.

On Bipartisanship:
Mr. Romney attacks me for not reaching out across the aisle to Republicans. He passed Romneycare in a legislature that was 87% Democratic. Well, that says something about the Democrats in that legislature, not about Mr. Romney. Look at the Republicans I've got to deal with in Washington. Tea party fanatics who don't believe in government. Men who say they want to shrink government down to the size they can drown it in their own bathtub at home. Well, think about that. Do you think Medicare and Social Security will fit in that bathtub? The leader of the Republicans in the Senate refuses to vote for a bill which would help the economy because by doing so he says, he might help re elect President Obama, so why would he do that?  Ever heard of doing what's right for your country? These super patriots, who wear American flags on their lapels are working for government failure because they want to blame that failure on the Democrats. There is no possible bipartisanship with these Tea Party Republican anarchists. I've learned that much. So if you vote for me alone, you've wasted your vote. You've got to vote in some Democrats who believe in Social Security and Medicare and the possibility government can help. Government, by itself cannot be the only solution, but it can be part of a solution.

On Kvetching:
Mr. Romney says he disapproves of what I did in Libya and what I'm doing in Syria and Afghanistan. Oh, he has lots of criticisms. But ask him what he would do now, not what he disapproves of past things, and he is mute. He simply has no ideas. A man who cannot point clearly in one direction is not a leader. He says he would not let Al Queda know we have a departure date in Afghanistan. Does he mean he would simply stay there? What would happen, if in 2014 the country erupts? Would he send in a new surge? He won't say what would make him stay in country, because he doesn't know. It's a secret. When he doesn't give you details, he doesn't know. When we trapped and killed Osama Bin Laden, what did Mr. Romney say?  Did he say, well, job well done? No, he said anybody could have done that. He could have done that. This is not the reaction of a real leader. When the other guy hits a home run, sinks a nice shot, you say, "Good shot. Now I'm coming back at you." But Mr. Romney is not a big enough man for that. He's not a big enough man to President.
[Note: Look him right in the eye when you say that, and smile.]

On anarchy:
Mr. Romney, Mr. Mitchell, Mr. Boehner and Mr. Ryan, Republicans, T Party to their souls, all the same. They really do not like government. They want to drown government in their bathtub. They will kill Medicare as they tell you they are just saving it. Well, Medicare does not need them to save it. Same for Social Security. Those programs have done and will continue to do, just fine, unless you elect a Republican President and Congress. And if you do that, you can kiss legal abortion good-bye. They will vote in Supreme Court justices as conservative or more conservative than the four horsemen of the Thirteenth Century we've got in there now. This is the Republican court which has given us billionaire sponsored political shadow groups which are pumping billions into TV ads to keep their Republican henchmen  in office. Mr. Romney and the entire Republican party is in the pocket of the billionaire lobby. Mr. Romney is all lathered up about that horrible pestilence, the deficit, but would he even take a first step toward killing that deficit by taxing billionaires? Oh, no! These men are the job creators! Well, how many jobs have they actually created? Mr. Romney parks his millions off shore and he'll tell you that's good for you because he'll use his money to create jobs. Is that what he's done? Ask the workers who lost their jobs, saw them sent over seas when Mr. Romney's companies took over.  You want to believe this rich guy is a member of a club you can join? Just vote for him. Live your fantasy out. 
A woman asked Benjamin Franklin, what sort of government the Constitutional Convention had given them. "A Republic,"  Franklin replied. "If...you can keep it."
It is now up to you to decide if you want to keep it.