Through the Looking Glass

 

Mad Dog readers: You heard it here first. 

Here's how this can/will play out: 

Jimmy Kimmel/Stephen Colbert run for President and start doing a tour, selling out packed stadiums in Washington state, Oregon and California.

The big networks, of course, fail to report it, but PBS does.

 The tour is hot stuff, with Kimmel/Colbert moving through huge sold out stadiums in Chicago and the Twin Cities, and then in Baltimore, , New York, Boston, finishing in Philadelphia, in front of the place where the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution were signed, and every event is covered extensively on PBS, YouTube and social media, except for Facebook, and X, where the tour is banned as unwoke.

The FCC shuts down PBS.

PBS tries to sue the FCC and  but the Court votes 5 to 3 in favor of Trump, (with Coney-Barret abstaining)--Alito/Thomas/Gorsuch/Kavanaugh/Roberts find that the  President has the right to silence anyone he does not like, and executive power allows the President to prevent anyone from using the airwaves. As originalists, they maintain that  the founding fathers clearly intended the airwaves, in particular airwaves carrying TV signals, to be the domain of the President alone. Madison, in particular did not like television comedians. Hamilton clearly favored big corporations exerting the will of the President. They decide against a narrow ruling and broadly find the First Amendment is unconstitutional.

Justice Alito explains in an interview on FOXNEWS that he recently communed with Justice Scalia , who told him that Presidential authority was never meant to be impeded and, in fact, elections pose a great risk to lifetime presidential tenure. 

Congress, by now firmly in the hands of the Gerrymander, votes Trump an enabling act to give him right to dissolve the Court outright. 

Trump considers his options: He is is furious that 3 justices (Sotomayor, Jackson and Kagan) have voted against him, and lodged stinging dissents. He could dissolve the Court, but he decides he may need Alito et. al. later, so he fires only the three liberals. 

But then FOXNEWS reports Tucker Carlson insists he should have been made Chief Justice, and is critical of undoing the Court, and Trump is thinking about that, when President Putin calls him, taunting, "A real man does not need  a Court," and so Trump dissolves the Court.

Justice Thomas realizes that with the Court dissolved, he'll have to return his mobile home because he no longer has a job he can sell to the highest bidder. Having been thus offended he changes his vote in Dobbs (which overturned Roe) just to spite Trump. Mitch McConnell says he is disappointed he cannot now become chief justice.

The New York Times editorial offices are torched. 

The Washington Post becomes "The Washington Post Storm Front" and X mergers with "Truth" to become TRUTHX. 

Congress passes a law which requires every university professor to sign a loyalty oath. All registered Democrats are summarily dismissed from faculties and from college administrations. 

Every civil servant must sign a loyalty oath.

Physicians who are registered Democrats must inform their patients they are Democrats at each office visit.

J.D. Vance tells the Democrats they can disband or they can take a loyalty oath to President Trump; Vance says, "We can do this the easy way or we can do this the hard way."

The departments of Agriculture, Interior, Treasury, HHS and Commerce are subsumed into a single Department of Homeland Security. 

Secretary Noem fires RFKJR,  but Trump promises to find him a new job.

The Department of War federalizes all National Guard units and amalgamates this with ICE into a single Homeland Guard Force, and issues them spiffy black uniforms with red and white trim and lots of black leather accessories. They are under the command of Stephen Miller. 

Trump, true to his word, appoints Robert F. Kennedy, JR to run detention centers, which have been built in every former Confederate state in addition to the Mountain West states, with the biggest facilities in Idaho, Wyoming, Montana, the Dakotas, Oklahoma and West Virginia. He makes sure inmates are humanely given lots of raw milk and vitamin A, but typhoid, Q fever, tuberculosis, measles, Covid and influenza quickly reduce the population of the camps and RFKJR quits, only to be appointed Surgeon General.

Trump's loyalists surprise him with a newly constructed mountain top retreat in Colorado, but he prefers Mar-a-Lago because there's not enough gold gilt in the Colorado place. Melania loves the place, however, which is accessible only by a solid gold elevator, and this means she can limit visitors to a list of people she wants to see and she can prevent visits from undesirables by not including them on the list.  President Trump is not on that list, but somehow Joe Rogan, Tom Cruise, Sylvester Stallone and Justin Trudeau make the cut. 

Putin visits Trump in Washington, and the next week Ukraine is overwhelmed by joint American/Russian forces and Trump remarks: "There really never was such a country as Ukraine."

Anyone caught flying a Ukrainian flag in America is arrested and sent to the Alligator Alcatraz.

New roads are built using coal powered earth movers. 

The word "Election" is removed from on line dictionaries.

Netanyahu declares there was never such a place as Palestine or Gaza and both of these names disappear from online sources. Netanyahu is defeated in Israeli elections and is named as the new American Secretary of War.

Everyone lives happily ever after.