Portsmouth, NH, October, 2025
Stormfront alert!
Radical Democrat Leftist America Haters are roiling in Portsmouth, NH, a Democratic Hell Hole, massing to march in a planned United Hate America Rally!
Governor Kelly Ayotte has declined to put her New Hampshire National Guard at risk, but she has asked for Mississippi National Guard troops to deploy along Market Street, and Alabama Guard will fill Market Square, in front of North Church, where Daniel Webster was a congregant, and George Washington visited in search of his escaped slave, Ona Judge.
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| Threatening Potential Rioter |
Homeland Security czarina, Kristi Noem, has vowed to deploy ICE to track down Ms. Judge's descendants to be returned to Mount Vernon, Virginia, before being sent to El Salvador.
Outside agitators, from Portland, Oregon and Chicago have also been sighted in Rye, Greenland and Hampton, NH, sheltering among fellow traveler Democrats.
National Guard units designated with special "Sic Semper Agitator" patches from Louisiana, Arkansas, Oklahoma and South Carolina will be quartered in the homes of any Portsmouth resident whose name ends in a vowel, or who is a known Spanish speaker.
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| Elitist Liberal Agitator |
Tensions are palpable.
Portsmouth police chief, asked about his plans to cooperate with ICE and the Confederate Guard units, replied with an assertive, inscrutable "No Comment."
Russell Vought, director of the OMB, has deployed January 6th veterans to direct crowds toward the Portsmouth Naval Shipyard and to instruct them about tactics for becoming "Ordinary Tourists." Furloughed government workers, who restore and repair nuclear submarines, have been ordered to return to work but have been told Democrats refuse to pay them so if there is any trouble with the fleet, we'll all know who to blame.
Big Bird, interviewed on the set of Sesame Street, averred he/she has been informed by Attorney General Pam Bondi, that "sanctuary cities" will be considered to be in overt rebellion which justifies trigger President Trump's activation of the Insurrection Act, which is, in a nutshell (and we use that word advisedly) martial law.
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| Dangerous Rioters Insurrectionists |
Asked about plans for flag burning, protestors said no plans for any sort of fire related activity have been made, and, in fact, most frogs, bears, unicorns have noted that they are very flammable and have no wish to engage in pyrotechnics. NPR has reached Kermit, who knows how hard it is to be green, for comment and his Ode, "Frog Resistance Makes Me Croak," is shown in the link below.
Texas Guard troops, originally slotted to arrive at Pease Airport, have been sent home by Secretary of Internal Warfare, Pete Hegseth, for being too fat and not the right look, and definitely not from Central Casting.
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| Fat Troops Need Not Apply |
Meanwhile, Secretary Hegseth, in a bold effort to demonstrate manly virtue and to set an example for National Guard troops everywhere, released a photo showing just the look he is seeking.
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| Look Ma! They Made Me Secretary of WAR! |
The New Hampshire seacoast has been hosting readings of The Concord Hymn by Ralph Waldo Emmerson, a noted radical elitist leftist America hater, who glorified violence with that line: "And fired the shot heard round the world," a paean to leftist revolutionary violence.
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| Dangerous Hell Hole Rioter |
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bw5zxdSObso
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| Seacoast Protestor |
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